Insults and slanders; I can handle those. The only way they can affect me is if I care what the offender is saying; if it matters to me, their opinion of myself. In most cases, I am steady-headed enough to brush such offenses off, and not let them phase me. Remaining silent in the face of persecution, instead of lashing back, has won many cases for me, or at least prevented things from getting worse.

I suppose it takes a certain skill to be able to ignore offenses; intentional or not. I would say that I am very practiced in that skill. Even when growing up, when so many around me were bothered to be called or considered young and foolish-- that did not bother me. I accepted it because I knew I had much to learn. I knew I was young. I knew I was not as wise as those who had experienced more life than I. Being called a boy, when so many others wanted to be called men, did not bother me in the slightest. In fact-- I was hesitant to call myself a man; I prefered to be called a boy. A man was something I was not. I did not feel that I had reached a point in my life where I was responsible and sensible enough to be considered a man. Even when, by the law, I was an adult-- a man --I still had issues with that. In any case-- there were many times when others would be offended for me, by some insult slung at me. Or there were times when a person would apologize for something that may have been taken as being rude or offending when in fact I took no offense from it.

But there is one thing that has always bothered me somewhat. I have always tried to not show any signs of displeasure when it occured, but I cannot say for sure how well I did at that. The thing is this: When others speak for me, or, assume to know what it is that I am thinking. Uninvited, this is one of the greater causes of disturbance in my life. Granted, I do not know everything, but I am an intelligent person. I know how to speak.

Think on this: Who is it that we, as people, speak in place of? I can think of only two categorizations:

1. Animals; Pets. They cannot speak at all, so we see them and pretend to speak for them. A cat; a dog; what have you-- it looks at you in silence, and you vocalize what you suppose its thoughts to be.

2. Babies. They are just so adorable, you cannot help but pretend to speak for them. The only other people who are similarily spoken for are young children and those with deficient mental capabilities.

It has been my observation that we only speak the 'thoughts' of those who we see as incapable of doing it themselves. Whether they physically cannot speak, or if they are mentally unable; we speak in place of them.

Please, do not speak for me. I am physically and mentally capable of speaking. Let me. If I am slow to answer, it is because I am giving you a thought-out response, instead of some whimsical idea off the top of my head. I was not aware that a thought-out response was such a bad thing. If you come upon some one who is shy, in your travels, keep this in mind. Do not answer for them, if they are bashful. Perhaps give them a little help by giving them specific choices, but do not assume to know what they are thinking or feeling.

June 14, 2002